A very special friend of mine told me that “Life is study”. I absolutely agree with it yet at first, I find it to be no more significant in my life other than the fact that a treasured friend of mine, whom I haven’t been hanging around with for more than 7 years, told it to me as if it’s some kind of absolute truth that defies anything else and it doesn’t matter if it goes against it or not.
Years later, I find myself living in a world where everything seems unusual. One of the things I never dreamed about which became reality is my fondness with literature, philosophy and learning in general which I thought is a good thing. Through this endeavor, I tried to figure out how to create theories, to tell stories, to be an ordinary person who is cool, cheerful and outgoing. Yet as I developed certain skills and accumulated so much knowledge, I ended up becoming so paranoid about things that don’t go well in this world and for myself. I would stay in my room with nothing else to do but reflect, think and read books which I collect and store in my personal library rather than hangout with friends and have long chats and intimate exchanges. I indulged myself with all the protection and comfort that this would can provide me. But this phrase made me rethink once again about what I have become and where have I gone so far in life.
I feel so hurt these days because after so many years of working hard in school and at the workplace, I don’t believe that I’m set for the real world and it seems that my life is going to fade away if I don’t do something to become once and for all involved with my dream career, to find good friends who will be patient with me as I step on hot waters, to come back to my special friends to give them my sincere gratitude and appreciation for the things they taught me, to be able to help out my family in our quest towards living a comfortable yet dynamic life, and to keep myself filled with good self-esteem, discipline and with the ability to have strong convictions, to be able to draw things from my life experiences, to relate a lot with what I read and listen to everyday and to value thoughtfulness, respect, honesty, patience, and kindness.
I reflected throughout the past 25 years of my life and I wondered whether if I did treat life as a learning experience – it’s one of the interpretations I made out of that phrase. I also wondered if I thought of every moment in my life with my family, friends, my work, my studies and my hobbies as an endeavor that is to be cherished and at the same time preserved using my own strength, intellect and motivation. Being at this stage in life, I asked myself if there is still hope, if there is still another chance. I remembered that God and my faith in Him dwindled for quite a while but now that I’m willing to fulfill His plans for me, I wonder if it’s going to be an easy task for Him to do – well nothing’s impossible with God, that’s something that I want to strongly believe in.
But that phrase “Life is Study”, as I start to understand it once more, showed me the value of life. I’m starting to learn little by little my firm resolve because of this short but powerful phrase. It shows that life is not easy, that taking risks is very important towards my journey in understanding life, and most of all, that it does not serve oneself, but everyone who is dear to us.
Life is Study.